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Relationship and Marriage counseling can assist you discover how suitable you are.

The two most important factors that determine how similar you are as a couple are:

A similar degree of psychological health and maturity and a compatible ranking of Instinctual Variants.

What are Instinctual Variants?
The 3 Instincts represent the natural energy or drives that are innately part of us as humans. Our personality is highly engaged with and is often dependent on these libidinal, instinctual energies to give it its spark.

Self Preservation Instinct.
People of this Instinctual type are often with the essential survival needs as they translate into our contemporary society, for example, money, food, accomodation, health, physical safety and comfort.
Being secure and physically comfortable are essential, and they will tend to bring their supplies with them.
When entering a room, they will tend to notice bad lighting, uncomfortable chairs, the room temperature, when the coffee break will be, and whether they will enjoy the food provided. They also tend to be the most practical in the sense of taking care of pressing necessities of life.
They are the most introverted of the types.

Sexual/ Intimate Instinct.
People of this kind have a strong desire for intensity of experience and affection. The blunt riveting gaze is the dead giveaway. When they enter a situation they automatically gravitate toward people they feel attracted to, as if they are looking for the juice. These people can be intimacy junkies, often ignoring pressing obligations or even basic maintenance if they are swept up in something that has captivated them. This gives a expansive exploratory approach to life, but can also give a lack of focus of one’s own goals.

Social Instinct.
People of this variation are preoccupied on their interactions with others and with the sense of value and self esteem they receive from their participation in collective activities. These include occupation, family, side activities and clubs.
Upon entering a room, these people would immediately be aware of the power structures and subtle politics between different people and groups. They are subconsciously attuned on other people’s reaction to them, particularly about whether they are being accepted or not.
They need to interact with others to feel safe, alive and energised. They seem to live for interacting with people, but they avoid intimacy.
They are the most extroverted of the types.

Within a person, one of these three Instincts will predominate. In fact the 3 instincts can be ordered liked the layers of a cake, with the most predominant one at the top. The weakest one, at the bottom, is termed the blind spot.
These instincts play an essential role in our relationships because personalities of the same type tend to share values and to understand each other innately, and therefore feel very compatible.

In relationships between 2 different Instinctual types, each will struggle to convert the other.

For further information on discovering whether you and your partner are compatible, contact the Hart Centre Australia. We are Australia’s premier relationship and marriage counselling service with 53 locations Australia wide, and 8 relationship counselling centres in Brisbane, 3 marriage counselling centres in the Gold Coast, and 2 relationship counselling locations on the Sunshine Coast. Phone 1300 830 552 for appointments at all centres.

For relationship counselling Brisbane, marriage counselling gold coast and marriage counselling sunshine coast, contact your local Hart Centre.